. Institute
of Family
and Work, Inc. 700 N. Wickham Rd.
Melbourne, FL
32935
Phone (407) 456-7889
momschmitt@aol.com
.
.
. "When your at
the end of your
rope, tie a knot
and hang on."
F.D.R.
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Shopping Madness
You're in the store and your child throws a fit. You
have four choices.
- Ignore the child (and all the people around you think
you are a terrible parent who can not control your own children.) P.S.
Keep them safe. Throwing things or knocking things over is dangerous. Keeping
them confined to the shopping cart will help out here.
- Spank them (confirm to all around you are a horrible
parent.)
- Give in to the child's wishes ( which teaches the
child all they have to do is throw a fit in public and they will get their
way for the rest of their life. This is where those difficult people in
your life came from.)
- Leave the store. (You do not get your shopping done.
You do however remove the child from harms way. You can finish your shopping
later.)
So what to do. First, quit worrying about what other people
think. The way you handle this sets a precedence. It teaches your child
what to expect. Options one and four are your best choices. If you ignore
your child, as difficult as it may be on your nerves, eventually they learn
it does no good and they will give up. Not easily and not quickly but if
you can wait them out it is your best alternative.
Option four is the next best choice. Be careful. This
one can backfire. It can teach them that if they are somewhere they do
not want to be all they have to do is act up and you will take them out.
Like in church.
Verbal Self-Defense
Anger and conflict are not easy to deal with. The next
time someone engages you try one of these six different approaches.
- Agree with them. "You're absolutely right. What
can be done?"
- State your feelings. "I have a problem with this.
Or, I am concerned…."
- Ask them the question they just asked you. "What
do you think?" "How would you like this handled?"
- Maybe or Maybe not. "That may or may not be the
case. I'm not here to argue."
- Empathize. "I can see how upset you are about this."
- Ask to speak openly. "May I speak freely."
Or, "May I tell you why I said that."
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